This self never confesses that it is tired,This self still be able pretend that everything is fine,This self is really deny when I start to confess that all the things inside of this self is just camouflage,This self couldn’t accept to confess that it doesn’t have strength like before,This self is really betray confessing thatWhen this self is tiring, it can do nothing, even if it is just a words, this self even has no power to vomit it,When this self is tiring, this mouth will stop to say, all which is still active work will be just mind,Brain will work fast without any motion, lips, eyes, power seems not active,NUMB, that is being felt deep inside,LAZY, that is suffer the nerves,INDIFFERENT, which is unable to be denied,This self feels like giving up, what is the reason of why making it be, I don’t knowProbably, it is too much thought in its mind,Probably it is too much held to be sincere and accepting all untruth from others,Probably it is too much be patient to face up everything, all the things which is actually can not be accepted due to it is not appropriate, but all I know here, I can not even deny it.Why this self getting lost so far, I don’t know,Going astray with these kind of people and situation is not option,Most of people thought that best friend will be like the best,Best friend is not there in the dictionary of life, I don’t know what is making people lose the best character of being human, if I could ask a request…I would love to stay and live with ancient man,It is life where everyone is living, it's rough and hypocrite sometimes but a thing that should not be denied is the beautiful of it.
Showing posts with label Poesy of Me. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Poesy of Me. Show all posts
Saturday, August 3, 2013
Thursday, April 25, 2013
No words no title
May happiness fulfills your heart as always,
may happiness comes close to you,
may happiness stays and holds you tight always,
may happiness becomes your friend,
may happiness always surrounds you,
may happiness becomes you,
this tears such falls dropping, can not be controlled typing this words
I don't know but it is happen,
just I can't see you not in happiness,
all I want in you is in happiness, joy full without sadness or kind of it,
for the reason of this little heart that I have for you,
a little part of it which towards you,
a little part which I never expected falling into you,
my best pray for you.
Know every particular object is not me,
I knew however and whatever about you not because I am curious to know about,
those facts come and show me,
those unimportant of those everything roams and fill up this mind,
such air which full off the dimension of room.
I am sorry, but I should not felt guilty.
No worries cause I do know who I am,
may everything best of happiness grants on you.
Never be sad, or something else except smile and happiness,
I read your words and I saw how you love her,
even that your heart one is far from you now,
but no worries you will get the best,
The Owner of this everything doesn't sleep and never sleep,
may you will be granted a best lovely couple for your happiness like always in your expectation,
or even if you still need and want her, may she will fall down in your warm hug of happiness,
for any and everything... I love to see you in happy of your cute smile,
may happiness is and will be always in you forever :)
may happiness comes close to you,
may happiness stays and holds you tight always,
may happiness becomes your friend,
may happiness always surrounds you,
may happiness becomes you,
this tears such falls dropping, can not be controlled typing this words
I don't know but it is happen,
just I can't see you not in happiness,
all I want in you is in happiness, joy full without sadness or kind of it,
for the reason of this little heart that I have for you,
a little part of it which towards you,
a little part which I never expected falling into you,
my best pray for you.
Know every particular object is not me,
I knew however and whatever about you not because I am curious to know about,
those facts come and show me,
those unimportant of those everything roams and fill up this mind,
such air which full off the dimension of room.
I am sorry, but I should not felt guilty.
No worries cause I do know who I am,
may everything best of happiness grants on you.
Never be sad, or something else except smile and happiness,
I read your words and I saw how you love her,
even that your heart one is far from you now,
but no worries you will get the best,
The Owner of this everything doesn't sleep and never sleep,
may you will be granted a best lovely couple for your happiness like always in your expectation,
or even if you still need and want her, may she will fall down in your warm hug of happiness,
for any and everything... I love to see you in happy of your cute smile,
may happiness is and will be always in you forever :)
Friday, April 19, 2013
I am blocking at you
I don’t know why this fingers typing it is so fast, I don’t ask it, I am not passion on it.
I am blocking at you, yes you are blocked.
It is hard to say, still I have feeling at you, a deep feeling which most people call it as I am your lover,
No I am not, never I am called myself as yours, your lover, never
That was just a moment when we used together, like we were helping each other,
Supporting when one of or both of us got trouble,
Sharing like friends, but we were closer, no one said and believed that we were a mate,
What a stupid of us, and I am the most
Still I am not believing of that, still I couldn’t receive that,
A truth which is clearly in fact in front of this eyes,
It is still you who roams in my mind always,
Your coming was like a wind, such breezy air blew my soul,
Into the deepest part one,
But those was just past, my past about you,
You who tough me the little thing of how managing the felling,
Even you didn’t mean to teach so but all you have showed to me, all has been absorbed by me,
All has been processed and definitely set wisely of how acting,
Still I haven’t understood you fully about why you are doing like this,
But from a moment that has been passed, I have been trying to understand and put positive on that why,
That widow and her daughter needs you more than me,
That woman and her baby in her womb now need more love than me,
That woman, her daughter and her fetus need you more and more than me,
Even what you have done with her was a thing, a thing which was called accident by you,
You don’t have any option to choose, a huge of your betrayal proved.
My silence, my smile and my peace here don’t mean that I am hurt so much.
Ssttttt fucking damn true that it is I am getting that hurt,
But I don’t know that silence, peace of my smile are true,
Yes I found time to cry that time, but that was just a while, no more than two hundred and forty seconds,
And after all, it was felt that myself wasn’t deserved to cry, hurt and feeling bad,
Like peacefully, sincerity bathed my soul,
I am not crazy, and it is true, do you think that I am crazy?
No I am not, still I am be able to answer the algorithm and question of the lessons,
It is just myself doesn’t let me to be down.
Hello, but sometime I miss him,
I don’t know what I miss at him, it is just suddenly existing, like being now,
But all is controlled, I miss you but now I just be able to type some words here,
Some words which deputes of what I am feeling,
A small part of my feeling for you which has not been able to be kicked out from this fragile heart.
How are you there? How is condition of your daddy? Your mom? Your sister and her little angle?
How is home? And …. How is your wife? How is her pregnancy? How is your step daughter? And your son who is in her womb?
It is true that I don’t hate you and I am not able to do so, what I said to you in my anger about I hate you, you are liar, betrayal, bad etc was true, but my small heart is like forbidding me to say so,
And I accepted what its said,
You are not bad, liar, betrayal at all,
No one never do mistakes, that is human being
And the truth that I don’t hate you.
Any way I am sorry for waiting me so long,
If I were with you and we were near for each other, maybe that thing will not happen,
I am sorry for waiting me till your age becomes 28th more and still I couldn’t be able to come to you.
I am sorry for not able to understand you that time,
Thank you for your patient, love, and a precious lesson.
January 28th 2012 was last day of happy birthday which I used to say,
October 05th 2007, 2008, 2009, 2010, 2011 are a day when you always forgot -_-“
Sometimes I used to smile by myself when roams a moment which is full joke, fight that we ever had,
Happiness and sadness, laughed and cried, that was you
I am blocking at you, yes you are blocked.
It is hard to say, still I have feeling at you, a deep feeling which most people call it as I am your lover,
No I am not, never I am called myself as yours, your lover, never
That was just a moment when we used together, like we were helping each other,
Supporting when one of or both of us got trouble,
Sharing like friends, but we were closer, no one said and believed that we were a mate,
What a stupid of us, and I am the most
Still I am not believing of that, still I couldn’t receive that,
A truth which is clearly in fact in front of this eyes,
It is still you who roams in my mind always,
Your coming was like a wind, such breezy air blew my soul,
Into the deepest part one,
But those was just past, my past about you,
You who tough me the little thing of how managing the felling,
Even you didn’t mean to teach so but all you have showed to me, all has been absorbed by me,
All has been processed and definitely set wisely of how acting,
Still I haven’t understood you fully about why you are doing like this,
But from a moment that has been passed, I have been trying to understand and put positive on that why,
That widow and her daughter needs you more than me,
That woman and her baby in her womb now need more love than me,
That woman, her daughter and her fetus need you more and more than me,
Even what you have done with her was a thing, a thing which was called accident by you,
You don’t have any option to choose, a huge of your betrayal proved.
My silence, my smile and my peace here don’t mean that I am hurt so much.
Ssttttt fucking damn true that it is I am getting that hurt,
But I don’t know that silence, peace of my smile are true,
Yes I found time to cry that time, but that was just a while, no more than two hundred and forty seconds,
And after all, it was felt that myself wasn’t deserved to cry, hurt and feeling bad,
Like peacefully, sincerity bathed my soul,
I am not crazy, and it is true, do you think that I am crazy?
No I am not, still I am be able to answer the algorithm and question of the lessons,
It is just myself doesn’t let me to be down.
Hello, but sometime I miss him,
I don’t know what I miss at him, it is just suddenly existing, like being now,
But all is controlled, I miss you but now I just be able to type some words here,
Some words which deputes of what I am feeling,
A small part of my feeling for you which has not been able to be kicked out from this fragile heart.
How are you there? How is condition of your daddy? Your mom? Your sister and her little angle?
How is home? And …. How is your wife? How is her pregnancy? How is your step daughter? And your son who is in her womb?
It is true that I don’t hate you and I am not able to do so, what I said to you in my anger about I hate you, you are liar, betrayal, bad etc was true, but my small heart is like forbidding me to say so,
And I accepted what its said,
You are not bad, liar, betrayal at all,
No one never do mistakes, that is human being
And the truth that I don’t hate you.
Any way I am sorry for waiting me so long,
If I were with you and we were near for each other, maybe that thing will not happen,
I am sorry for waiting me till your age becomes 28th more and still I couldn’t be able to come to you.
I am sorry for not able to understand you that time,
Thank you for your patient, love, and a precious lesson.
January 28th 2012 was last day of happy birthday which I used to say,
October 05th 2007, 2008, 2009, 2010, 2011 are a day when you always forgot -_-“
Sometimes I used to smile by myself when roams a moment which is full joke, fight that we ever had,
Happiness and sadness, laughed and cried, that was you
Sunday, March 17, 2013
Without words
Empty, silence, no words, scaring of screaming which is able to be heard by the animals and plans,
lip wont ever be vomit some words,
tongue feels like locked,
words are like unable to be arranged,
breezy of the air will be able to be felt by the human whose blood welled inside them,
family wont be able to help when the God's delegates come to pick up the released soul from its place,
best friends wont be able either,
no one will be able to help except his charitable which has been done when he has been given a life chance by The Al Mighty.
Dear you who is called by The Almighty today,
how are you and what you are doing there?
is the world after you living now is better than the world which has been being living by you and you left it all today?
is there any friends like you have here, when you are still here in our side?
are you feeling lonely there?
I am still feeling that you are here with us,
still I feel when your hand pulls my hands and letting me know that you and your friends were there,
still I feel when I met you and say goodbye,
I might not the one who close to you,
I might not the one who was always beside you when you were getting trouble and when you were in happiness,
but I am the one who used to see you from far incidentally and loved to see your happy smile when you had joking and shared advising us.
Thanks to The Almighty who let me know person like you,
thanks to my friend who had been invited me to join in that program so I could meet you there,
thanks to all member of that program which has been accepted me be part of their family,
thanks to the committee of the even which was used to invite you to come and share your solidarity as senior,
thanks to my college who has accepted person like him so I could meet him as his junior,
thanks to The Almighty again for meeting me with him again in one office even we are in different division,
thanks to The Almighty for giving me occasion having little words in joke with him in his closer to You,
thanks for everything uncountable which You always give, grant, gift, blessing and everything.
Dear you who is called by The Almighty today,
nothing which is able to be done by us here, nor your family there,
all we are able to do is just pray best for you,
may all the things which you have done in this world will be accepted as best practice by The Almighty and send you to the heaven,
may all the things which has been mistaken by you in this world will get the forgiveness from The Almighty.
Dear the family who has left by the lovely and dearest son today,
may The Almighty will give best strength and grant you more sober, sincere toughly.
Sometimes God doesn't give what we want in time near after we pray, God will always give what we need and best for us.
lip wont ever be vomit some words,
tongue feels like locked,
words are like unable to be arranged,
breezy of the air will be able to be felt by the human whose blood welled inside them,
family wont be able to help when the God's delegates come to pick up the released soul from its place,
best friends wont be able either,
no one will be able to help except his charitable which has been done when he has been given a life chance by The Al Mighty.
Dear you who is called by The Almighty today,
how are you and what you are doing there?
is the world after you living now is better than the world which has been being living by you and you left it all today?
is there any friends like you have here, when you are still here in our side?
are you feeling lonely there?
I am still feeling that you are here with us,
still I feel when your hand pulls my hands and letting me know that you and your friends were there,
still I feel when I met you and say goodbye,
I might not the one who close to you,
I might not the one who was always beside you when you were getting trouble and when you were in happiness,
but I am the one who used to see you from far incidentally and loved to see your happy smile when you had joking and shared advising us.
Thanks to The Almighty who let me know person like you,
thanks to my friend who had been invited me to join in that program so I could meet you there,
thanks to all member of that program which has been accepted me be part of their family,
thanks to the committee of the even which was used to invite you to come and share your solidarity as senior,
thanks to my college who has accepted person like him so I could meet him as his junior,
thanks to The Almighty again for meeting me with him again in one office even we are in different division,
thanks to The Almighty for giving me occasion having little words in joke with him in his closer to You,
thanks for everything uncountable which You always give, grant, gift, blessing and everything.
Dear you who is called by The Almighty today,
nothing which is able to be done by us here, nor your family there,
all we are able to do is just pray best for you,
may all the things which you have done in this world will be accepted as best practice by The Almighty and send you to the heaven,
may all the things which has been mistaken by you in this world will get the forgiveness from The Almighty.
Dear the family who has left by the lovely and dearest son today,
may The Almighty will give best strength and grant you more sober, sincere toughly.
Sometimes God doesn't give what we want in time near after we pray, God will always give what we need and best for us.
Written on March 12nd 2013 when the moon cast its light
Sunday, January 13, 2013
Infinite
Dear happiness,
I thought that you have left her once she tried to avoid and leave him,
I thought that everything is turning dark when she started not to heart him again,
I thought that you will blame on her when decided to choose her way.
Dear happiness,
She tells me that she found you when she started to know him,
he is not that rich, he is not that handsome and he is not that moslem,
All I knew she has declared agreeing to have relation with him to make him understand how is precious his life,
he was always degrading himself as bad and unlucky man in this world.
Time by time,
she used to and always giving a little advise about how precious his self is,
till he could think and see that his self was not like in his mind,
till she felt near with and could receive his existing in herself,
he was good man, he was always creating a little happy smile of hers.
Senior high, bachelor degree till graduated,
They were still connected each other,
Till she realized that it is forbidden and may not to be continued.
No, it was not, the right story is not that.
That man betrayed his words, he hidden a thing,
he did not want lose his girl but he could not reject receiving the free services and teasing from woman whose one daughter.
How is embarrassing it... so f* d* embarrassing
Yes, she was broken.
Yes she was in fragile.
But overall she came realizing 1 : 0 = ~
Dear happiness,
I am happy as hers, with full of my awareness
happiness is not about stretching to the right and left of the lips,
happiness is not about when you are successfully reaching your goal,
happiness is not about the way you mean it,
happiness is a condition where you can accept the sincerity of everything,
one devided by zero is infinite.
I thought that you have left her once she tried to avoid and leave him,
I thought that everything is turning dark when she started not to heart him again,
I thought that you will blame on her when decided to choose her way.
Dear happiness,
She tells me that she found you when she started to know him,
he is not that rich, he is not that handsome and he is not that moslem,
All I knew she has declared agreeing to have relation with him to make him understand how is precious his life,
he was always degrading himself as bad and unlucky man in this world.
Time by time,
she used to and always giving a little advise about how precious his self is,
till he could think and see that his self was not like in his mind,
till she felt near with and could receive his existing in herself,
he was good man, he was always creating a little happy smile of hers.
Senior high, bachelor degree till graduated,
They were still connected each other,
Till she realized that it is forbidden and may not to be continued.
No, it was not, the right story is not that.
That man betrayed his words, he hidden a thing,
he did not want lose his girl but he could not reject receiving the free services and teasing from woman whose one daughter.
How is embarrassing it... so f* d* embarrassing
Yes, she was broken.
Yes she was in fragile.
But overall she came realizing 1 : 0 = ~
Dear happiness,
I am happy as hers, with full of my awareness
happiness is not about stretching to the right and left of the lips,
happiness is not about when you are successfully reaching your goal,
happiness is not about the way you mean it,
happiness is a condition where you can accept the sincerity of everything,
one devided by zero is infinite.
Tuesday, December 18, 2012
Sands
Dear ma sands,
I just came realize that I had been holding you for about more than four years,
I met you when I didn't know what the exactly means of life,
You came with your "DeadSoul" initial.
We started typing to arrange the words, then you said "Can I be your friend?"
Request sent and accepted be me.
Dear ma sands,
still I remember you used to say that you were unlucky man,
still I remember you used to think degrading yourself,
trying to make you understood that you were not,
do you still remember that?
You were gone,
You were gone and back, you back with "WAVE" initial.
I have lost you as my sands even I know that It is you "WAVE" who is I'm missing,
I have tried to find my sands in again.
Deep inside I still wanna hold you and walk through.
But sorry let me try to bury up what has been planned, my real sands had been gone long time before "WAVE".
You might know that I trusted you a lot,
but now your words mean nothing to me,
because your actions spoke the truth.
I just came realize that I had been holding you for about more than four years,
I met you when I didn't know what the exactly means of life,
You came with your "DeadSoul" initial.
We started typing to arrange the words, then you said "Can I be your friend?"
Request sent and accepted be me.
Dear ma sands,
still I remember you used to say that you were unlucky man,
still I remember you used to think degrading yourself,
trying to make you understood that you were not,
do you still remember that?
You were gone,
You were gone and back, you back with "WAVE" initial.
I have lost you as my sands even I know that It is you "WAVE" who is I'm missing,
I have tried to find my sands in again.
Deep inside I still wanna hold you and walk through.
But sorry let me try to bury up what has been planned, my real sands had been gone long time before "WAVE".
You might know that I trusted you a lot,
but now your words mean nothing to me,
because your actions spoke the truth.
Saturday, October 13, 2012
Big Burden Inside
Something that I can’t confess that it’s …
Big burden faze this every each cell of my nerves…
Something that I can’t confess that it’s…
I don’t ask this and I never expect this…
All I know, it came like the wind, like the air which fulfilled breathing
It’s more than like a monster who comes and goes, it’s taking all part of me.
I don’t know why it is happen,
I just feel it, feeling so deep…
This is like a seed which is growing, taking root deep and naturally in me
Something which is always avoided by me,
Something which is always played safe by me before is exist and I can’t even deny
It’s like carrying away all of me
Does it mean affection getting going?
I’m not sure, just standing on the edge of time
Big burden faze this every each cell of my nerves…
Something that I can’t confess that it’s…
I don’t ask this and I never expect this…
All I know, it came like the wind, like the air which fulfilled breathing
It’s more than like a monster who comes and goes, it’s taking all part of me.
I don’t know why it is happen,
I just feel it, feeling so deep…
This is like a seed which is growing, taking root deep and naturally in me
Something which is always avoided by me,
Something which is always played safe by me before is exist and I can’t even deny
It’s like carrying away all of me
Does it mean affection getting going?
I’m not sure, just standing on the edge of time
Thursday, October 11, 2012
Hubbub
When you are young and vulnerable, emotional hurt is terrible with this experience,
it takes time to gather yourself and carry on,
but it's what you have to do,
as you said, starting from zero is the way forward,
experience will make you much stronger,
don't ever think that you'll be all alone forever,
because you won't be,
and don't give up on anything else that matters,
finding the true relationship feels like an never-ending task at times,
but that's bulls***
The secret is not to rush it, let it come to you because it will
what you do is carry on being you,
being beautiful and positive,
enjoying the fun times and learning from other times,
experience, one thing I do have
stepping forward from the negativity,
peace of mind comes by stepping back from everything
try and look at things from another person's view.
it takes time to gather yourself and carry on,
but it's what you have to do,
as you said, starting from zero is the way forward,
experience will make you much stronger,
don't ever think that you'll be all alone forever,
because you won't be,
and don't give up on anything else that matters,
finding the true relationship feels like an never-ending task at times,
but that's bulls***
The secret is not to rush it, let it come to you because it will
what you do is carry on being you,
being beautiful and positive,
enjoying the fun times and learning from other times,
experience, one thing I do have
stepping forward from the negativity,
peace of mind comes by stepping back from everything
try and look at things from another person's view.