Friday, March 22, 2013

True love is abdicate

Do you think that it should always shed?
Talking about love will bear many opinions of it. People will shout and hold into what they believe and trust, not sure that what they hold whether true or its contrary. All those about are conditions which have been occurred in their life. I don't know where I get this thought, but mostly, people will say and hold every little thing happened in their life experiences.

Talking about this case, do I trust and hold the meaning of it depends on my life experiences?
I guess so, this self will describe the exact mean of love based with experiences. Talking about everything which even happen in life, this will not ever end. There are many topics, more over for the themes. I'm not type of girl whose ability to explain and give explanation clearly to everyone, even I have told them the detail of thing which is being in mind, they will always get difficult to absorb the information or idea from me. I'm not kind of girl whose much knowledge than any other that is why my writing is always worse,probably be ridiculed by everyone. I'm not that girl who think much or feel worse when people laugh at me cause my lack. I'm that kind of stupid girl, who have ever fallen in love with 2 man for this long time being. My first one was the one who had been being cared by me cause his bad thought to himself, yet never meet him, pretending that I received his love and doing fake like I liked him, it sent me to that thing called as blind love.
Just about going to meet, then the betrayal happened.

How it could be called as blind
  1. He is not one faith with me
  2. We never meet each other
  3. I don't know what and from his family background
  4. Receiving his love before, was just about to kick his thought that God never hear what he has prayed.
Was I crazy like losing my brain as long more about four years? Was it called as love? Was it can called that I fallen in love? Was it can be called as gift from The Almighty to learn how the emotion inside us?

I don' know how I call it as the strange feeling which ever I had. I got many lessons from that experiences where we have to know and learn how the exact of other. How to put the patient and sincerity, trust, promise, and broken promises for sure. such fool but it mostly done and happen to anyone who is suffered this pink disease. I love you, I love you too, I miss you, I do more and much missing you, mostly words that's vomited by lover. Love is one of well-known word which is known by every human. Love isn't a thing, it is kind of feeling, every human has their mean about it. Love is like a great feeling, but horribly sometimes. It is found deep inside, inside of small heart.

It is the second, but I am still not believe and sure that it is happen, then I know him, the one who I never expected falling heart, the one who I know him but I have not ever recognized him, the one who I should know him long time ago, just because my selfish and worse of me which is never serious when meet, say hello and in all about introduction when met everyone.
But all I know I am on reaching throw away that bad habit, ya once again he tough me, how to appreciate, how to manage the feeling and the egoism of the top of selfish.

They come to me and share their problem with the one like me, why? I don't know how to answer that question. I am just be able to smile and thank to The Almighty cause that, they said that I am happy person, and never be in sadness. I just smile while give a little joke to them. Deep inside of this self couldn't say any words. They just don't know me, they told and shared me everything, I accept and tried to give the solution of each problem, yeah I could do that, but why I am not able to solve the problem which suffers me, to whom I should share it?
I get confused and try to clarify by myself, even I couldn't get the solution sometimes.
I get confused where should I shared while I don't want bothering their happiness and though about my problem. He made me realize.

"Do you have problem? What is your problem? Can you tell me what is your problem?
You will feel what is exactly of life if you are really realizing and enjoying it, it is pity of your life if it is shackled by your stupid though, see the fact of life....get up and enjoy it, everything can be enjoyed if we want"

Do thank to that one who is always teaching me how to face up and show me up what the exact of life and how we should in it, yeah even he never doesn't mean to teach me so, he told me that he doesn't like to advise or gives criticism either, I don't care that, all I know I just be able to say thanks. I do want have words in every I am far with him, but every we are in same time, I never be able to say and have much talk, what I am able to say is about a rubbish things, I can't even concentrate even just a second. I have been trying to conduct and train myself not to be, but it seems doesn't work, I need more efforts to do so.

Well let's making be clear, like I ever wrote in my previous writing, even I like him, I respect him, I never have a thought more that I will be able to be with him, cause I do know my self, I am having too much a shortage of everything, while he has everything, he deserve to get a better best girl for his life partner.
Still I am curious to know who is lucky girl who gonna getting him, and he loves her for sure. No it is not like that, it is his life I don't want interfere or want to know more by collecting information about him, no I am not, let God who will be always be The Greatest Director of this life. Sincerity must be exist in.

Well talking about it will not have ending, so it is better stopped here.
"True love is shed, it is perfect, how can you love me if you are not respecting me?"

I should always remember that words, even I can't understand well what the exactly mean of it sometimes.
It is hard to do, but that is a thing which is true.

What are you feeling when the one whom you like standing with other man/girl else, even they are just in pictures and just like friends takes pictures them selves?
You will be jealous, won't you? even you guys tell me that you are not in jealous situation but ask your heart, is it felt strange, like going to get anger, high temper and something else.

"Peace heart will make everything will be alright"
If we are in that situation, can we feel that peace? Myself  will directly say, No I can't.

"So it is be able to be said that it is love? Isn't love peace?" 
Yes, love is peace.

"By rising temper when we see the one whom we like with other, it shows that we care with him/her, it show that we have big and true feeling of loving her/him" 
Is it? No it is not for me, isn't love peace? why such that feeling must be there? Yes it is difficult to escape from it, but for me, I have to be able to do so.

It's just image
"True love is shed, it is perfect, how can you love me if you are not respecting me? It is peace, sincere, does not mean possess, a thing that can't be owned through forcing, a feeling that is kept deep inside..bottom of deepest heart, never boastful nor conceited, never rude or selfish, does not take offense and it is not resentful, it takes no pleasure in other people's sins, but delights in the truth, it is always ready to excuse, to trust, to hope.. and to endure.. whatever comes." 


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