Thursday, June 6, 2013

Coming and exist

Dear peace of white paper on screen of my laptop,
Let me say suite of words from the deepest of bottom heart inside me this night,
I got his news, he told me directly that he is not happy with her,
He feels so buried with her, he is so sad and full of regret, he told me frankly,
Let's not talk about love here, cause if you weapon at me,
I will say directly that deep inside I am missing him badly, but all I want here is not like this,
This everything is like back to norm, when he came and asked this hand, it is like a breeze air blows n fill up this soul, smile spread in this lips.
I am totally afraid and scare of him sometimes, I am afraid to get hurt exactly, yes I have not been ready, this fragile heart is yet back like it was before, and beside of all, I am afraid if my feeling that I had for him will be exist in me again.

What's wrong if I give him once occasion again?
This heart is still do with him, still with him

He said that he is not connected with that woman again,
He said that she is witch,
He said that she just trapped him,
Now he is realize at all, he confess what he has been done and beg me to forgive and ask my hand to be able held by him again.
He regrets so much, he lose his weight now, too much and look so thin.
I don't have any heart to see him in picture that he had sent to me.

Tell me what should I do?
Tell me how to face up on it?
Do I so selfish if I come and hold his hand helping out of his problem?

This is simple problem or probably it is not problem at all,
it is just thing which is so easy to be solved if heart isn't included here.

He told me, like he used and always said before that he loved me, he is still love this girl.
He wanna trying to build everything from zero again,
Even this girl has been trying to forget him, but honesty she is still unable to erase up him and everything about him,
But once again it is not talked about love, it is all about the irrational thought.
It should be thought by mind not the heart which is contaminated with love syndrome.
But it can not be denied that love is working and exist here, he is her lover and so she is,
even it is weird that they have not met personally, but they have this such feeling.
For sake of everything, actually this girl is totally afraid to have relation, boy friend and girl friend like people have, she has not been ready yet if happen something like... you know that what it is mean.
Trying to give everything for future husband, that she is totally want.

Deep inside he is good son and lovely guy, even sometime he is naughty and make her cry.
But you should know that love is wonderful even its hurt sometimes.

Today this girl told him that she ever liked someone when they were apart due to that, this girl just went to confess, felt guilty cause liking another one, even it is still being in little.
He didn't have any words, seems like this girl's word hurt him too much.
Sorry but I just wanna be honest and confession due to guiltiness suffered me always.
Deep inside even your responses is so wise, I am sorry and wish everything between isn't changing and wont be. This girls doesn't want getting hurt for second or more, even she said that the hurt in existence of love is and will be always beauty in wonderfully.

Love is wonderful even its hurt sometimes, but still it is :)


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